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The Bear Market’s Coming to Town

Annuities

(To the tune of Santa Claus is Coming to Town)

You’d better look out Get ready to cry There’s no stopping it Be all set to fly.

The bear market’s coming to town.

It’s gone down the list
And found all the users
By this time next year
They’ll all look like losers.
The bear market’s coming to town.

The stocks are over-valued
For all that’s plain to see.
Pick anyone from the alphabet and Watch them crash from A to Z

You could have been smart And not left unprotected Bought a fixed annuity
As I had suggested

Then you’d not be wearing a frown. Then you’d not be wearing a frown.


My Investments Got Mauled Badly by a Big Bear

(To the tune of Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer)

My investments got mauled badly by a big bear Commencing in September with the fall.
My advisor said this drop would never happen. I guess he needs a better crystal ball.

They all said this crash could not be forecast
All of the financial networks said that was so
I understand they like their Monte Carlo models But don’t they get what goes high can still go low?

My investments got mauled badly by a big bear Commencing in September with the fall.
My advisor said this drop would never happen. I guess he needs a better crystal ball.

I guess he needs a better crystal ball.


Buy Yourself a Fixed Index Annuity

(To the tune of Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas)

Buy yourself a fixed index annuity
Take your cares away
From now on your annuity will start to pay

Buy yourself a fixed index annuity
Your nest egg will be sure to grow Indexed-linked earnings will soon begin to flow

An annuity provides security An income too and more Tax deferral is a plus
And it comes to us with

A guaranteed interest floor

Year after year your annuity will be there It’s a contract, you see
In your assets it represents the apogee And buy yourself a fixed index annuity


The Fixed Annuity Song

(To the tune of Jingle Bells)

He tweeted me one day
With a message so profound
I ‘liked’ what he had to say
The premise continues to astound.

He said he had a way
To increase the interest I could earn I asked if my principal might sway He said that would not be a concern

Fixed Annuity, fixed annuity earning interest all the time.
No market risk will bother me
And my account value will climb, oh

Fixed Annuity, fixed annuity earning interest all the time.
No market risk will bother me And my account value will climb.


I Should Have Bought the Annuity Instead

(to the tune of Winter Wonderland)

Jim Cramer cries Are you sighin’
No more highs Stocks are dyin’
It’s a horrible blight And in hindsight

I should have bought the annuity instead.

Lying dead is the old bull
Here instead is the long pull
To get back the loss
When the market turned cross
I should have bought the annuity instead.

With the annuity we could have built a retirement And we’d know that we were set for life.
Instead it looks like all of the money’s spent
How will I explain this to my wife?

I am screwed and moreover Life doesn’t allow do-overs With what I know now
I’d have avoided the Dow

I should have bought the annuity instead.